Sermon on the Little Mount

Shas boss had commented that 'Sudarspeak' can be read as "Sudar Speak" or as "Sudar's Peak". Sure, I like the interpretation. Considering the fact that my work location is Chinna Malai (Little Mount), the latter one fits as well. You can possibly call each posting as "Sermon on the (Little) Mount".

The brave ones

Over supper a couple of days back, Jagan had raised his objection to Sun TV's mention of Narain Karthikeyan as a "Tamilaga veerar" (TN player). That Narain was not representing Tamil Nadu did not seem to matter to the newscasters.

But, Sun TV being what it is, we don't expect anything better. As a matter of fact, Narain was not representing India either. He was driving (for) Jordan, not to be confused with the country of the same name.

I remembered Dehali's remonstrations about Tamil news reports referring to players as veerar (literally 'brave ones'). We are really not sure what kind of bravery our players exhibit. I raised this with Jagan and he coolly said, "Yes, they are brave enough to face us after losing all round the world".

Touché!

Handling unsolicited calls

Quite often, we get calls from banks selling their products. There are a number of interesting ways to handle them. Here are a few:

• “Your voice sounds sweet. Are you free for dinner to-night?”
• “Yes, I would definitely need this loan because my house was sealed yesterday for non-payment of home loan EMI, my vehicle was stolen last night and the insurer tells me that it was my fault that I left the car keys in the lock.”
• “Right now I am drunk. I would like to take this loan you are offering before I am too sober to realise that I will use this loan amount to get drunk and go broke in 20 days. Can you please send your representative to ‘Bikes & Barrels’ bar within the next 20 minutes?”
• “Occupation? I am a movie stuntman. I am 6’6”, weigh 104.5 kg and my claim to fame is that I was beaten badly by Dhanush in his last movie after I drove an Enfield Thunderbird over his chest.”
• “I am a bonded labourer working night shifts in Pallavaram quarrying near the mountains. Of course, it is illegal, that is why we have night shifts.”
• “Can I have your home phone number so that I can call you like you did just now?”
• “I am an astrologer by profession. My stars tell me that if I take this offer, your life will be cut short brutally. Do you want to proceed?”
• “Thanks for calling. Yes, I can use the loan to pay my bail. Did I mention I am in jail for embezzlement of funds? Hello, hello!!”
• “Do you receive personal calls at your work desk and speak to the caller for half-an-hour? No, right? Nor do I. Good-bye”.

Fool-proof

Popular understanding is that ‘fool-proof’ means that fools or simple-minded people would not be able to break it open or they would have no use for it.

‘Shock-proof’ means that the item resists shock and electric shocks will have no effect on the object.

In that light, I reckon ‘world-proof’ and ‘future-proof’ mean that the items would have no use in this world and in the future respectively.

Invocation

Ramanujadasan

To the one to Whom everything belongs,
To the one worshipped in prayer and songs,
To the one sought by the learned and the laity,
Salutations to Him, Who is touched by piety.

The eye see without seeing,
The presence of that Supreme Being,
In the depth of the darkest night,
At the threshold of evening twilight.

Ears are those that do not hear,
Neither from far, nor from near,
His voice in the black owl's hoot,
And in the notes of the bamboo flute.

The taste lingers on the tongue,
But the mind lets it go unsung,
His touch in the bitter root,
In the drip of the juiciest fruit.

Blest are those who have known,
Smelt Him and His lasting presence,
In the humble tumbling stone,
In the smoke of fragrant incense.

Wretched is the skin that does not feel,
The touch of the Lord who spinneth the wheel,
In the heat of the roaring fire,
In the waft of the autumn zephyr.

Unto Him:
In the midst of the three - you let yourself be,
Lif the darkness and let me too see,
You, who sustains all Creation,
And grant me unto you everlasting devotion.