Chew-bacca

What a fine generation of youth we have! Their parents have taught them well not to suck their thumbs. And our youth understood that as “It is acceptable to chew other fingers”. Every day, I see more and more people joining ‘suck your fingers bone dry even when there is no food involved’ movement.

I am still clueless on why it is socially acceptable go around with things (other than teeth and tongue) in the mouth, whereas, picking one’s nose in public causes outrage. Since I am a bit behind the times (I don’t read newspapers regularly), someone please tell me about the Rage of the New Age:

• Should I necessarily shake hands with someone whose fingers spent some time in his/her mouth a few moments earlier? Or, should I shake hands to exchange saliva as a sign of bonhomie?
• If I know a person who chews writing implements, should I chew mine before lending it to him/her to prevent that person returning the pen with his/her drool?
• It is common to see Westerners chewing their fingers. Yes, the same people who think it is bad manners to eat with hands. How does one explain this contradiction?
• Is there some kind of defined hierarchy that says who can chew what? What kind of experience is needed for a person to graduate to chewing toes? I know there are people who have their feet in their respective mouths pretty often, in a metaphorical sense.
• Last, if I refuse to conform by keeping my fingers away from my mouth except while eating, will I be a social outcast, condemned to a life of isolation? If yes, I look forward to it.